In my childbirth education classes, I teach all my couples that birth is a mental game. It is 95% mental and 5% physical (and honestly an entirely spiritual journey). In reality, if we were able to get our minds out of the way our bodies would just give birth without a hitch. No questions asked. That's easier said than done.
So how can we get our minds out of the way? How can we view thoughts simply as airplanes passing by and be more directive of which ones land in the airport of our mind? Simply put, how can we have more control over what we think?
A little about prayer
Prayer is one of the most important anchors we can use to help us in this realm. It can help us manage the pain and sensations of labor, get our minds out of the way and ultimately surrender to this perfectly designed process. Prayer works in many ways that we'll talk about in this blog but one worth mentioning now is that it helps us fill our hearts and minds intentionally with what we want our focus to be on. Think about prayers of gratitude for example. "Thank you God." A simple prayer that reorients our minds to being grateful and appreciative of anything and everything because we understand all in life is a gift from God, life itself is a gift.
Labor and birth are very challenging times but they are designed in this way. To grow us, to stretch us and to transform us into the mothers we need to be and are meant to be for this little child coming into the world. It is also a spiritual journey one in which we can choose to lay all of our burden at the feet of the cross, to give it all to God, to fully surrender and accept however it unfolds as His will and having his hand in it. Not only does this surrender help the natural process along but it also opens us up to deeper connection with God and with ourselves.
So yes, Prayer is how we connect with God, it is also how we build and maintain a relationship with Him and a lifeline we can use to pour out our hearts to, to give all of our worries to and the way we can be thankful for all we have. Prayer and ultimately our relationship to God allows us to let go of the need we so desperately crave to control how life or in this case labor and birth unfold and (yes I'm going to use the word again) surrender to the natural unfolding of this process. Because the reality is He is in control, and that should give us peace.
When we have nothing higher than ourselves to rely on we search for something in this world to save us like medication, doctors, midwives, etc and the reality is that nothing in this world will save us from going through labor and birth, ultimately Christ is our savior and in Him will we find refuge. And being that prayer is our lifeline with Him, it is a powerful tool we can utilize and rely on during time of need.
Why it works
It's easy to get stuck in our heads, overtink, worry and want to control our lives on a day to day basis, but even eaiser to do when we are in the midst of a challenge or something hard. Like in labor and birth. This can pose a problem for natural labor because we want our oxytocin to be high to help move things along, oxytocin is produced when we feel safe and secure. However, when we overthink, get worried or anxious or even scared our bodies naturally tense up. It is our bodies response to the stressful thinking we're having. When we clench or tense up our body actually has heightened sensitivity to pain, which is instinctual because the more hurt we are the faster we'll run, hide or plain old get out of where we are! With a heightened pain perception we become more afraid, scared, worried and the cycle continues. This is known as the Fear-tension-Pain cycle and it can really hinder how birth is going as well as natural birth outcomes.
Prayer can be a great breaker in this negative feedback loop and help us to come back to peace, comfort, safety and security. It can replace some of those lower thoughts we may be having as things get so intense and input encouragement and reassurance to keep us going.
Before I was a Christian, in the birth world I would talk about birth affirmations in this same way. As something to cling to when you're desperate, something to fill your mind with when all your inner voice is saying is "I can't." The difference is that prayer is directed up, toward God, heard, received and answered! Affirmations realistically have no direction or connection, though they can still be helpful. Some prayers can be as simple as what one would call an affirmation.
It's important to consider that prayer doesn't have to look a certain way. Praying can be a simple "Help me" or "Thank you God." Thinking of prayer in this way can make it more accessible but also more likely to replace some other negative thoughts we might have, especially when enduring hardship.
The Prayers
Below you will find a combination of short prayers, longer prayers, prayers to patron saints, psalms and other verses from the Bible, all that can be used to give you strength, hope, the feeling of safety, connection and surrender as you traverse through labor and birth.
If there is a prayer you love or have used during labor and birth that's not listed id love for you to share it in the comments for others!
A Prayer for a woman in labor
- O Lord of God Almighty. the Creator of all things and Giver of knowledge to mankind. Who did fashion the body of man from the earth and breathed into his nostrils the breathe of life: and granted unto him Your blessing that he might increase and multiply by means of the birth of children. We ask you now. who love mankind. to bless this your handmaiden (enter name) who is with child. Granting her help and comfort at this trying time: ease her labor and bring her to safe delivery. Yea. O Lord. open the Treasury of your mercies and your compassion unto her. and let her give birth to a fruitful vine. To be a cause of joy to her all the days of her life: for blessed are you and
your all holy. good. and Life-giving Spirit and unto ages of ages.
Amen.
- O Sovereign Master and Lord Almighty, Who heals every sickness and every weakness: do You Yourself heal this Your servant (Name) who this day has borne a child, and raise her up from the bed on which she lies. For according to the words of Your Prophet David, in sin were we conceived and all are defiled before You; protect her, and this child which she has borne; shelter her under the covering of Your wings from this day to her last; through the intercessions of the all; pure Theotokos and of all the Saints, for blessed are You to ages of ages. Amen.
Psalms for times of need
- Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I will fear no evil for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
- Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
- Psalm 91:1-2
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, "You are my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.
- Psalm 126:3
The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.
- Psalm 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
- Psalm 141: 1-2
I call upon You, O LORD; come quickly to me. Hear my voice when I call to You. May my prayer be set before You like incense; my uplifted hands, like the evening offering.
Prayers to the Theotokos and Saints
Prayers to the Theotokos
- Virgin Mother of God, rejoice, Mary full of grace; the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, for thou hast borne the Saviour of our souls.
- Most Holy Theotokos save us
Prayers to patron saints
- O Saint (Name) of God, pray to God for me, for my home, and for my family. Amen.
- Pray to God for me, O Holy Saint (Name), well-pleasing to God: for I turn to you, who are the speedy helper and intercessor for my soul. Amen.
Bible verses
- Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
- Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
- 2 Thessalonians 3:3
But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.
- Jeremiah 32:17
‘Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.
- John 16:21
A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.
My Prayer for you
May God bless you and give you strength as you take on this great feat, one that you are perfectly designed for. Trust in Him, rely on him when you can go no further and He will carry you through. Amen
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